utter nonsense

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Poopy...

Yep. That about sums it up. I just can't seem to snap out of this over stressed foul mood I am in. No amount of the Police's Message in a Box can curtail it. The worst is that I cannot put my finger on the source of said poopiness. I even ran home for my lunch break thinking some vegetarian "beef" soup, a pet of the dog, and a hug from the boy would turn it around. No such luck. It could be the result of four potential events: 1)I think the fact that my brother and I were in the same room for 8 hours on Thanksgiving without a huge blow out argument, snide comments toward each other, expletives shouted, etc. set a precedent for Thanksgiving that has not occurred in over ten years and is really freaking me out. I can't handle that kind of familial trauma 2)All of my friends who have jumped on the Athens train to New York will be returning in a few short weeks. Why would this be a source of crappiness. you ask? Well the reason is completely and utterly selfish/pathetic and I am almost afraid to share. I guess what it boils down to is me not being happy with the stage of life I am in right now (crappy job I hate, broke...B-R-O-K-E, bad hair cut, desperately needing new clothes so fancy friends from New York still want to be seen with me, etc.). Why I should project that on friends coming to visit? I have no idea. 3) I ate at a new Cuban restaurant about a week and a half ago. I believe the "vegetarian" black beans and vegetables (really a can of veg-all dumped on the plate...yuck) where not totally vegetarian. I have been dealing with the flatulent repercussions of this ill advised restaurant excursion for a while now and I believe it is weighing on my constitution. 4) In the time honored tradition of being a woman, I have been blessed with PMS that doesn't start a few days before my special time but TWO WEEKS before. Lucky me. FUCK!

In an attempt to boost my esteem and shrug off this less than pleasant state I am in, I have registered for a triathlon in April and spent the entire morning working up a training schedule. Drastic? Maybe. Stupid? Possibly. Will I actually do it? You bet your ass.

Listening to: Slint

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Be Careful What You Ask For

The following is an emailed explination of this. I couldn't open the link I was sent so I asked for an explination....enjoy. It almost made me pee my pants.

"well, betagirl, some family of Kiwis claim a "herd" of dolphins
corraled them to fend of a great white.

the family then took the dolphins to Outback steakhouse, where
the aquatic mammals treated everybody to awesome blossoms and
performed an impromptu medley of gospel toons while pounding
Foster's oil cans and fighting a group of hammerheads and
portuguese man-o-wars.

then, a bunch of half-man half squid call-of-chthulu-type "Old
Gods" came in from Maine and sicked these poisonous lobster
dogs on everybody.

but one brave little kiwi girl gathered the courage to outwit
the cosmic overlords by dousing them with ranch dressing and
playing AC/DC'S "ballbreaker" 500 times in a row. then she
married han solo and they all partied with the A-team and Bill
Clinton at snoop-dog's place in australia.

on sunday, they surfed the "humunga kowabunga from DownUnda"
in such a ripping fashion that they got sponsored by
Victoria's Secret AND Vans, which lead snoop to record
"beeyatch and chips (compton and long beach remix)" with the
dolphins AND the kiwis AND tyra banks (who's trunk o'
conkabonka was the whole reason snoop got on board).

EAST COAST IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!
20 OZ. starbucks dark roast RULEZZZZZ!!!!"


Uuummm....This GRILLED CHEESE just sold on ebay for $28,000. Something about seeing the Virgin Mary in it. Looks more like Catherine Hepburn to me. Tell me this...what kind of a jackass buys a grilled cheese for 28K? Posted by Hello

I'll Have a Double Latte, Everything Bagel, and a Post, Please

Needing to recover from the shock from the repairs to my car being completed, I decided to take my time into work today. Having arrived, I have decided to blow off work this morning. Dr. Evil is out of town for the holidays but has managed to destroy my plans of cutting out early yesterday and today by giving me a deadline and by making me proctor one of his exams. Even when he's not here he manages to ruin my day. After nearly quitting and storming out of his office on Friday (long story involving me having to grade about 300 papers in 3 hours and then him telling his student how stressed out he had been all day trying to get their papers ready...aarrggghhh), I find out yesterday that all of his grant accounts are tapped dry or overdrawn and he is having to borrow departmental money to pay my self and the other researcher in my lab. Apparently, the department head has had enough of this and may cut off the borrowed money. What does that mean for me, you ask? I could be canned any day now if more money doesn't show up.

Here's my take on all of this:
1) All this not knowing if I will have a job tomorrow keeps things interesting, right?

2) Now I don't have to tell him to suck it after quitting.

3) Makes working at Barnes and Noble not sound like such a bad idea

4) I may not have to defer my acceptance into a new graduate program until next fall

5) Since my parents are moving back to Atlanta, I will have a place to go when I get the boot out of my apartment for not paying rent

All in all, I think this recent turn of events may be a good thing. Anyone know anyone who is hiring?

Monday, November 22, 2004

Weekend Update (without the wit of Dennis Miller and the Humor of Kevin Nealin)....

Just picked up my car from the shop. Yep, the new used engine is in and for the bargain price of $2395 it's all mine. Now just cross your fingers that it's not a junker and everything is going to be all right. Just keep telling me...it's going to be all right.

This weekend was low key and fun. Friday, I was pissy and didn't want to go out. I went out anyway only to gorge on a blackened tofu sandwich that sent me straight into a full on food comma which in turn sent me home. Saturday was spent begging rides from friends to the grocery store and a few naps. I went to a show at the fabulous 40 watt that evening with the boy, the crazy professor, and my old roommate. It was me and the sausage party (as usual) and we had a pretty good time. The music was, all in all, VERY good. The line up was as follows:

We vs. Shark
not so good...don't really like the music...one of the band members once showed up to a show the boy and I were at after we had been there for an hour or so, stood behind us, and then proceeded to bitch very loudly about how the two "tall fuckers" in front of him were blocking his view of the stage....tough shit the little toadie never went through puberty...next time show up before the "tall fuckers" and you won't have those sorts of problems...I'd also like to point out that we were in the back of the club when this happened and the little bastard had plenty of other places to stand...needless to say they could be the best music since Hendrix and I still wouldn't like them due to the aforementioned incidence...you know what they say...a woman scorned....

Medications
VERY....VERY....good....never seen them before...D.C Dischord band....definitely worth a long hard listen...so good the boy and I bought their EP at the show....VERY GOOD....the bass player was talking about their merch table and very nonchalantly slid in they were on dischord...sort of a shameless plug...if their band had sucked it would have required a bunch of heckling..."yeah, we all no your on Dischord but you ain't no Fugazi"...no heckling required which is a good thing considering that was the best heckle I could think of....

Cinemechanica
I was very resistant to this band due to the huge buzz they got around town...they too are VERY Good...they are very technical....have to be ready for quick chord changes...sort of an audio assault but in a VERY Good way...keep only catching half of their show though....third time that has happened...the crazy professor wanted to bolt and we wanted to walk home before 3 am...caught three songs and that was it...made note to self to see them in their entirety ASAP...great name for a band....

Sunday, the folks came in town. We ate burgers and drank wine and had a fine time. Turns out they are going to move back to Atlanta. This is a good surprise. I could stand to hang with the fam more than I do now. It would be good for my constitution.

Listening to: Rogue Wave

Thursday, November 18, 2004

And All The Girls Say He's Pretty Fly For A Fly Guy

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Mental Breakdowns and Mos Def....

I just heard a really great song (Direct Effect...who woulda guessed it?) by Talib Kweli and I am writing it here so I remember to go buy the CD. Mr. Kwali used to be in an underground hip hop band with Mos Def called Black Star and I want to buy their CD's as well. If you get a chance check it out.

My friend Jan and her roommate drop by the apt. tonight. We don't get many drop ins and I'll be honest I really enjoy them. It sort of reminds me that there is a life out of my shitty work and lazy nights. The lazy nights may be coming to an end though. I am becoming increasingly more antsy and am not to in to watching the tube right now. Not only is it killing multiple brain cells but it sort of stresses me out and irritates me to watch most television. For example, I watched about twenty minutes of Road Rules/ Real World challenge tonight and I wanted to freak out and yell because all these shows do is get a bunch of bitchy girls and a bunch of dudes who like to party, pump them full of alcohol, and then let them act like imbasilles. Not in to it. I have turned into one of those people that would prefer to rent all of the Curb Your Enthusiam, Six Feet Under, and the Office and then return them all late. Better yet, I would rather go to bed early and read Pride and Prejudice these days. I think it is getting older. All of the sudden you want to have craft groups with your girlfirends. You go to birthday parties at seven, have a blast at the all girl fest, and you are home by midnight. You enjoy the fact that you have to walk/bike to work in the morning and turn it into your own private morning where you get up an hour early so that you can grab coffee, think about life, and take your time going to the lab. I look forward to coming home and taking my dog for a walk. I like happy hour on Friday and lay pretty low the rest of the week. I am more into music than I have been most of my life but going to shows kills my back. I am a big girl now and you know what? I am totally copasetic with it. I really am! The only thing that would make life better....a newer, better paying job and a new not so crappy hair cut.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

You Can Make a Difference.....

Here's how. Think of the children. Their future depends on it.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Current Obsessions...

My Puma Schattenboxen black and white boots

Ugh boots and how much I loathe them

Walking

Bonnie "Prince" Billy's I See A Darkness

Nalgene bottles with small openings

Salads

Bram Stoker's Dracula

Penguin Shiraz

Got 2 Be creame palmade

My car being in the shop, still

Calendars/ To Do Lists

Writing with pencils

My lack of new clothes/ how badly I want to buy new clothes

Solitaire



Thursday, November 11, 2004

Michael Moore on the Election...

"Dear Friends,

OK, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let's, in the words of Monty Python, "always look on the bright side of life!" There is some good news from Tuesday's election.

Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:

1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.

2. Bush's victory was the narrowest win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young adults (Kerry: 54 percent; Bush: 44 percent), proving once again that your parents are always wrong and you should never listen to them.

4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think the country is headed in the wrong direction (56 percent), think the war wasn't worth fighting (51 percent), and don't approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52 percent). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out. It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)

5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in the Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack the Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.

6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did six of the eight Great Lakes states. And the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. OK, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more show tunes!

7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just any old nut – a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous nut.

8. Eighty-eight percent of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America will no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time! If you're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be truly golden and you will be well cared for in your old age.

9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't have to buy now.

10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress, including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good to have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our candidates can't.

11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up!

12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away.

13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at least three chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled state legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into the 2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53 chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control 47 chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1 chamber (Montana House) is still undecided.

14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment than the one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here on out – and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do all the hard work that will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's last month in 12th grade – you've already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll treat the next four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at the ranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already proved his point, avenged his father and kicked our ass.

15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a very dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following two scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to the Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his ear that he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so that history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push for too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky and arrogant – and thus, reckless – that he will commit a blunder of such major proportions that even his own party will have to remove him from office.

16. There are nearly 300 million Americans – 200 million of them of voting age. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a landslide – it means we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58 yards to go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 of those yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and go home crying – especially when you get to start the next down on the three yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies are coming!

17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for the candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the total number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking for a trend it should be this – that so many Americans were, for the first time since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country has always been filled with evangelicals – that is not news. What is news is that so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact, that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the ones who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about Nov. 2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element of surprise in 2008.

Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "My Romanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember, Morton, this is such a wonderful country – it doesn't even need a president!'"

source: www.alternet.org

Listening to: The Shins

Monday, November 08, 2004

The Soundtrack to my Life

I woke up this morning with the theme song of Beverly Hills 90210 stuck in my head. I think it's almost out but that is an earworm that is hard to shake. I do that a lot...wake up with a song stuck in my head. Most of the time it is some sort of random metal song. Examples include but are not limited to Iron Maiden's Run to the Hills (my personal favorite), AC/DC's Hell's Bells, and Ozzy Ozborne's Crazy Train. I don't know what to attribute it too but it is actually a very interesting way to start the day. The metal normally gives way to cheezy 80's songs later in the day. Such tracks include but, again, are not limited to Wham's Wake Me Up Before You Go Go (I am not sure that is the correct title but you get the drift), David Lee Roth's cover of I'm Just a Gigilo, Pretty much anything written by Duran Duran, and Cindy Lauper's She Bop. You can say what you will about the music but I really have no choice in the matter. I do what I can to get through the day and then start the soundtrack of my life over again the next morning. It's like a permanent mix tape made by my friend in elementary school in my head. The only difference is each day the track changes. Hey, it keeps things interesting.

Side Note: Saw the latest Duran Duran video the other day and it completely blows. John Taylor is still hot though and that's really all that matters.

Listening To: Ted Leo and the Pharmacists

Thursday, November 04, 2004

I'd Like to Give A Shout Out to.....

the assholes that keep honking at me when I ride my bike home from work and yell at me to get on the sidewalk. If you jackasses can read (which I doubt....you seem to be gigantic morons that think riding on the sidewalk is a safer alternative for me. Clearly, you can't see either because the sidewalks are littered with pedestrians and traffic pulling out of driveways that don't look where they are going...not to mention one of these people has already clipped my back tire not paying attention) I have taken it upon myself to spell out the bicycle laws in the fine state of Georgia. Please read thoroughly and stop hanging your head out of your big ass SUV/tricked out Honda like a dog and pay attention.

40-6-294.

(a) Every person operating a bicycle upon a roadway shall ride as near to the right side of the roadway as practicable, except when turning left or avoiding hazards to safe cycling, when the lane is too narrow to share safely with a motor vehicle, when traveling at the same speed as traffic, or while exercising due care when passing a standing vehicle or one proceeding in the same direction; provided, however, that every person operating a bicycle away from the right side of the roadway shall exercise reasonable care and shall give due consideration to the other applicable rules of the road. As used in this subsection, the term "hazards to safe cycling" includes, but is not limited to, surface debris, rough pavement, drain grates which are parallel to the side of the roadway, parked or stopped vehicles, potentially opening car doors, or any other objects which threaten the safety of a person operating a bicycle.
(b) Persons riding bicycles upon a roadway shall not ride more than two abreast except on paths or parts of roadways set aside for the exclusive use of bicycles.
(c) Whenever a usable path has been provided adjacent to a roadway and designated for the exclusive use of bicycle riders, then the appropriate governing authority may require that bicycle riders use such path and not use those sections of the roadway so specified by such local governing authority. The governing authority may be petitioned to remove restrictions upon demonstration that the path has become inadequate due to capacity, maintenance, or other causes.
(d) Paths subject to the provisions of subsection (c) of this Code section shall at a minimum be required to meet accepted guidelines, recommendations, and criteria with respect to planning, design, operation, and maintenance as set forth by the American Association of State Highway and Transportation Officials, and such paths shall provide accessibility to destinations equivalent to the use of the roadway.
(e) Electric assisted bicycles as defined in Code Section 40-1-1 may be operated on bicycle paths.


STOP FUCKING YELLING/HONKING AT ME....ASSHOLE!

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

A State of Denial

I refuse to comment on the election today because I am in a state of denial. I do not believe that I live in a country in which 11 states voted t amend the consitution to ban gay marriages. I cannot accept that the majority of my fellow citizens are baffoons and are on the verge of reelecting one of the worst presidents to date. I will not swallow the fact that election results such as these will potentially force me to change my professional career track, abandoning causes I feel passionate about, because the aforementioned worst president ever would rather clear cut the entire landscape of the U.S, deny global warming exists, lower clean air standards, and exploit our remaining natural resources all in the name of big business rather than conserve anything. Nope...I don't beleive that we the people have to endure four more years of this man because he is down with Jesus. Are the majority of people too ignorant to question their leader? Are we the only educated people in this country that see what this man has done? Is the country scared of a change? Isn't it a little telling that the state most effected by September 11th strongly carried Kerry? What the hell is going on?

Nothing....this is all a very very bad dream. Wake me up when it is over.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004


Rollin' in my 5.0 with my ragtop down so my hair can.......by the way what's up with that hair? Ladies and gentleman I give you Vanilla Ice's mugshot courtesy of the smoking gun Posted by Hello