And All I Got was This Lousy T-Shirt

So I am coming up on my one year anniversary at my crappy crappy job. I thought I would gain some meaningful career experience and all I got is a little cellulite and a fucking nervous tick. Yes, the god damn eye twitch is back after a brief hiatus yesterday afternoon. Can I get workmen's comp for this? Not to mention pain and suffering because it is a gigantic PAIN in the ass to constantly have a twitchy eyelid and I am begining to SUFFER from a serious case of insecurity when I talk to people with this relentless eye twitch. I should go home sick for the day because of it but what will probably happen is I will sit here for 2 more hours pretending to work on this busy work the ivy leaguer has given me, play some solitaire, read some blogs, generally fart away the afternoon, and then drink too much at happy hour even though I swore I was not going to drink tonight.

A Few More Things and Then I'll Have to Kill You

- The eyelid twitch (Day 6) has ceased to exist. YES!
- I want to write a dissertation on ebay and how it has shrunken/changed ideas/concepts of space in the global market place
- I love that show "Most Extreme Challenge." It makes me laugh so hard I almost pee my pants.

I Can Tell You But Then I Have to Kill YOU....

I consider myself to be a private person. I sort of keep to myself except with my close friends and then I am Ms. Heart on the Sleeve. I am OK with this. I like a little anonymity and don't really like people I don't know and don't care to know up in my business. It may be a bit odd to share this on a blog on the world wide web that anyone can read but let's be honest...I know there are only a handful of peeps out there peeking at this so I am not too worried about incriminating myself. So, in order to let my guard down a bit (I've been told I keep people at arms length) I am going to share some stuff about myself that not too many people know....

- I hate Rooms-to-Go commercials. They make me crazy and I yell at the TV when I see them. I find them to be commentary on the state of society today and how fucking lazy and homogenized people are that they can't even pick out their own damn furniture and put a little self expression in their life. NO!!! They have to let some idiot with no taste compile a room for them that can be theirs for five easy payments of 5 billion dollars and can be conveniently delivered to their door. UGH...I hate them.
- I cuss like a sailor and I really hate that I do.
- I like getting up really really early. I am talking like 5 am. Then I make myself work out because I feel, in my own body dismorphic mind, that I am puttin' on some pounds.
- I have been looking for a job (that I like) for going on 3 years now.
- I have a major shoe obsession and this whole "trying not to buy leather" thing is really holding me back.
- My Mom is my hero and she will never know that.
- I am a total and complete sap. Serious sap.
- I haven't had a "best friend/BFF" in a long time (with the exception of the boy but I can't talk to the boy about the boy. You know what I mean). I know a lot of people but no BFF.
- I have a terrible time buying pants that fit me. I am way too tall.
- I like people that are self deprecating because it means they can laugh at themselves.
- I have a crush on Oliver Hudson. I think he and I would make lovely babies.
- I feel like I have forgotten everything I learned in grad school.
- I just received an email for "Vagina Stretching Cream"...uuuggghhhh!

Day 5

It's day five of the right eyelid twitch and this shit is not helping! You know the "war on terra" has gotten out of hand when they won't let fucking Cat Stevens into the country. Can you say witch hunt? If "W" wins I am going to Canada. Wanna join me?

Gimme

I want this. Do you think it will make me an olympic swimmer?

Super 8

The eyelid above my right eye has been seriously twitching for going on four days now. I thought a glass of wine (or three) last night might relax it but it didn't work. It's sort of like watching a super 8 film out of one eye. It's starting to freak me out.

Separation of Church and ,well, the Lab I Work In

I actually spent an hour this morning in the ivy leaguers office today listening to his ponderings on teaching creationism in university science classes. He wanted to know if I knew the religious beliefs of science professors I have had. I told him we never really got around to it because they WERE TO BUSY TEACHING AND NOT PUSHING THEIR BELIEFS ON ME! He wondered if in addition to the theory of evolution if I was taught the "theory" of creationism. I told him..."IN SUNDAY SCHOOL WHEN I WAS A KID!!!" I don't think he liked it when my co-worker and I pointed out that evolution is, indeed, a scientific theory while creationism was a religious belief. Most shocking was that he did not see the distinction between the two and felt that creationism could be debated as a "scientific theory." In the same sit down we discussed the local college paper and whether it was conservative or liberal. I said conservative for a college town and then he said liberal because the talk about "homosexuals." Am I wrong to be a little taken-a-back by this? Am I out of line to point out this little thing called the separation of church and state and using that as an argument against the discussion of a professors religious beliefs in a public state run university classroom? I am still floored that this banter ever had to occur. Don't get me wrong. I am down with some religious conviction. My mom is uberchristian and is one of the most wonderful people I know. She is such a good Christian that she doesn't judge me when I tell her the whole Christian/organized religion thing is not my bag. Now that is a woman who knows what it's about. My argument is that there is a time and a place for everything and I don't feel like BIO101 is the place for creationism.

Ok...this may not be a popular opinion for all of the current Florida residents, anyone living in the Carribian, all the local Cubans, and anyone who lives near or on a coast line, BUT, hurricanes are REALLY cool. I am currently watching bands of this bad mamajamma (Ivan) pass over my office and toss around tornadoes like two dollar hoes. One just passed over us. I went outside to look for it and then BAM!!!!! Tons of rain, that crazy train sound off in the distance, and one of those dangerous little suckers bounced right passed my office. I guess this means my bike ride tonight is canceled. Bummer.  

The Yehti Has A posse

Is that how you spell posse? Or is it posee? Either way...so one of my current favorite bands played here on Monday night. It was great. I was totally into it. Here's what I don't understand though....why do people in this town only go see bands that their friends are in or that they have heard of on the local college radio? Yes, in all honesty, you do get to see great bands but think of all the awesome bands you miss. The Natural History played here about a year ago when they opened for Spoon. I had read about them but was really into them after I saw this show. I went out and begged my local record store to order me a copy of their LP and bought the EP at the show. Since then, I have patiently waited for them to come back. They were actually scheduled to play here about six months ago and canceled (after the boy and I had already paid to get into the club...typical). So I waited patiently again. Finally, they show up on the schedule for the Caledonia and I am stoked. I got free tickets from the radio station (redemption for the previously canceled show) and told all my friends to go check them out. Granted, Monday night is a tough time slot but there were only like 10 people there not including the boy and I. Later, I read the Flagpole's blurb on the band which was a total crock of shit. They sound nothing like Fugazi...more like Elvis Costello meets The English Beat (minus Sax) mixed with Squeeze with a lead singer that has an Elvis snarl. Awesome right? Nobody there. That sucks. The Yehti and her possee were there in miniskirts and leg warmers (aren't we over the 80's yet?) rocking out and trying to make eyes at the band but that's it. People!!!!!! Just because no one in this band is a former member of anything related to Elephant 6, none of them hang with Michael Stipe on a regular basis, they don't wear skin tight girl jeans or have terrible hair doesn't mean they should be ignored. Try something different for once. It's good for your constitution. Do I sound bitter?

You know, I say all this and rant like a lunatic but I will be the first one to complain when they play the next time and I can't get in to the club because it is so crowded. Can I ever be satisfied? Doubtful.

Check out Texas!  

Gleaming the Cube

This weekend was a fun filled cirus. After a night of drinking and avoiding old old friends who I knew when I was a little more on the crunchy granola side (give me a break...I was 18) on Friday, the boy and I recovered most of the morning Saturday. I don't know if it was the hysterical side-splitting laughter from watching the boy and his pal play "crab grab" that did me in or the fact that I was actually out 'til midnight. I am sure it had absolutley nothing to do with the one-too-many- vodka tonics I had. Needless to say, we recovered quite quickly and nicely and were not a wash for the entire day. Then we headed downtown to enjoy some extra awesomeness in which middle aged men and young boys raced on a downhill skateboard slalom course all in the name of fundraising. See my little town is about to have its first public skate park and they need more money to make it bigger and better. Wanna donate? This event kicked ass and ruled mostly due to a very hot Swiss kid who happened to be really good on a skateboard and a crazy guy from Mississippi who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs while the boy and I talked to him. The boy said he would have stopped him normally but this guy was so entertaining that he just didn't care. Everyone called him "The Russian" because of his crazy mustache and huge chops. He looked more like a civil war general to me. I tried to get a picture of him but he was too elusive and a bit creepy. I am afraid the picture may have made him think he could stare again.

Last night the boy and I decided we were going to skate around in front of our house. Needlesstosay, I haven't been on a skateboard in quite some time but it sounded like fun so I went for it. We hooked the dog up to her leash and ran around trying to teach her to pull us on the skateboard. At one point I sat on the board while the boy pushed me and the dog chased after us. The end results were not pretty....judge for yourself 

A boy and his dog. Nothing says love like a boy and a girl forcing the dog to drag them around a street. It's sort of like the Iditorod except she isn't a husky, we weren't in Alaska and there was no snow just cement. 

This is the results. You should see my back. It's not pretty but dammit if we didn't have a good time. I felt like I was back in high school and my neighbors were going to come out and yell at us for being too loud. It ruled! 

Get Out and Vote Dammit!

Potty Mouth.....

Well, the ivy leagurer may have heard me calling him an asshole as I hung up the phone today. OOPPS! Do you think he'll fire me now? Let's keep our fingers crossed. After having a long holiday weekend, I am increasingly more bitter and hostile towards him and have realized that I would rather be a cashier at a gas station than continue in this god-for-saken job. I had a very theraputic talk with a good friend of mine and I have decided to officially try to go back to school and get my Masters in Secondary Science Education. It's time for a change. I think I would be a good teacher. As long as I don't call anyone an asshole it should go smoothly.

B-O-R-E-D and finding things fascinating...

My lab mates and I had enough internet surfing and decided to wander around the building complex. After we tried to steal parts off two old bikes not chained up in the back we stumbled into the Applied Isotopes building. We were greeted by a very dapper looking man who asked..."Can I help you?" I have a feeling they don't get a lot of visitors. After explaining that we weren't vagrants just bored lab techs. he started telling us about his lab and then showed us the coolest thing I have every seen in my life. Maybe that is my super science geek kicking in but it isn't every day that you get to see a machine that packs more punch than a bolt of lightening, has the ability to perform "atomic sandblasting," and has a dude working it that probably hasn't scene a girl in a couple years but runs a machine more sophisticated than the one that dated dated the Shroud of Turin. It was like Real Genius but better.

This is how I spent my day today at work. I hate my job.

Probably the single most messed up story I have ever read!

Nothing Much! What's up with you?.....

I really haven't had too much happening of late:

*I didn't have to go to court after I was subpoenaed. The quack plead guilty.

*I have recently been reintroduced to Fugazi's Into the Killtaker and I am currently obsessed with that album.

*I bought new bike tires and cheap wine during a trip to the Mall of Georgia.

*The boy just got us memberships to Sam's club so we have a new place to wonder about and kill time not to mention by cheap things in bulk. It wierds me out though. It seems a little too suburban-middle aged-middle class to me. They do sell some cheap gas there though....$1.60/gallon. What a bargain!....and a way to lure me into feeding the retail machine that is Sam Walmart: an american capitalistic icon.

*I still hate my job (probably now more than ever) and have began to refer to the ivy leaguer as Dr. Evil. I will hate this job even after I quit working here. Does anyone want to hire an aspiring ecologist. Let me know!

I hope all the people I know are having exciting things happen so I can live vicariously through them. Please!!!! Let me live vicariously though you!