utter nonsense

Friday, August 27, 2004

I Just Got Served.....

Literally! I was just served a subpoena to testify in court. See, I used to work retail while I was shlepping my way through my thesis so I could graduate and still make rent. While doing so, I caught a shoplifter. She was this crazy red haired lady who came into the store spent about thirty bucks and paid with a check. After she made her purchases she went wandering around the store and started shoving stuff into her bag while she was wondering. I saw her walk by one of the bath product shelves and drop some fragrance in her bag. I confronted her and found about two hundred dollars worth of merchandise in her bag. When I stopped her, I told my co-workers to call the police and this women had a meltdown. She was screaming "don't call the police or I'll lose it" and shaking the entire time. Clearly, she's a bit unstable. Well, we filed a warrant for her arrest after the police took our report. I figured she'd fess up and take the fine and it would be over. Apparently, Ms. Cookoo-for-Coco-Puffs is contesting the charges. Let me remind you the idiot wrote a check for the items she actually bought so we have all her information. Not to mention, I SAW her drop stuff in her bag. This lady is a nut job. Anyway, Investigator Mac served me today. We didn't have a dance off or anything but it was exciting.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

I took some convincing but I think they finally go it.....

U.S. Report, in Shift, Turns Focus to Greenhouse Gases
By ANDREW C. REVKIN

Published: August 26, 2004
NY Times


In a striking shift in the way the Bush administration has portrayed the science of climate change, a new report to Congress focuses on federal research indicating that emissions of carbon dioxide and other heat-trapping gases are the only likely explanation for global warming over the last three decades.

In delivering the report to Congress yesterday, an administration official, Dr. James R Mahoney, said it reflected "the best possible scientific information" on climate change. Previously, President Bush and other officials had emphasized uncertainties in understanding the causes and consequences of warming as a reason for rejecting binding restrictions on heat-trapping gases.

The report is among those submitted regularly to Congress as a summary of recent and planned federal research on shifting global conditions of all sorts. It also says the accumulating emissions pose newly identified risks to farmers, citing studies showing that carbon dioxide promotes the growth of invasive weeds far more than it stimulates crops and that it reduces the nutritional value of some rangeland grasses.

American and international panels of experts concluded as early as 2001 that smokestack and tailpipe discharges of heat-trapping gases were the most likely cause of recent global warming. But the White House had disputed those conclusions.

The last time the administration issued a document suggesting that global warming had a human cause and posed big risks was in June 2002, in a submission to the United Nations under a climate treaty. President Bush distanced himself from it, saying it was something "put out by the bureaucracy."

That may be harder to do this time. The new report, online at www.climatescience.gov, is accompanied by a letter signed by Mr. Bush's secretaries of energy and commerce and his science adviser.

The White House declined yesterday to explain the change in emphasis, referring reporters to Dr. Mahoney, assistant secretary of commerce for oceans and atmosphere and the director of government climate research.

In an interview, he said the report was mainly an update on the overall climate research program and was not intended to be a conclusive "state of the science'' summary of the administration's thinking. A series of 21 reports are promised on particular issues in coming years, he said, and the studies on climate models, agriculture and other subjects mentioned in the new report are "significant but not definitive.''

Still, the report was disputed by some groups, aligned with industry, that oppose restrictions on carbon dioxide emissions and have attacked science pointing to dangerous human-caused warming as flawed.

Myron Ebell of the libertarian Competitive Enterprise Institute said the report was "another indication that the administration continues to be incoherent in its global warming policies."

At the same time, the report did not please environmental groups, which have repeatedly criticized Mr. Bush for opposing efforts to require restrictions on the gases linked to global warming, though he has gradually come around to the position that warming is at least partly caused by emissions.

"The Bush administration on the one hand isn't doing anything about the problem, but on the other hand can't deny the growing science behind global warming," said Jeremy Symons of the National Wildlife Federation.

The studies in the report that point to a human cause for recent warming all involved supercomputer simulations of climate, which have increased in power over the last several years.

The latest analysis, done at the National Center for Atmospheric Research in Boulder, Colo., found that natural shifts in the output of the sun and other factors were responsible for the warming from 1900 to 1950, but could not explain the sharp and continuing rise since 1970.

The report's section on agriculture focused on several studies in which fields and grasslands were exposed to doubled concentrations of carbon dioxide, with growth patterns in plants shifting in ways that could harm yields.

In such conditions, it said, plots of shortgrass prairie in northeastern Colorado contained less of the nutrient nitrogen, and their grasses were less digestible than those that grew with no extra carbon dioxide.

"In another experiment, increased CO2 stimulated the growth of five of the most important species of invasive weeds, more than any other plant species yet studied," the report said. "This suggests that some weeds could become bigger problems as CO2 increases."

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Thing I have seen today that either freaked me out or made me laugh.....
-There was a kid on Kid Jeopardy today that was named Okey (pronounced O-K)

-Random ziplock bags in the fume hood in the lab I work in labeled biohazard that were full of AB blood plasma. Where they came from....I don't know

-On the back of a mini van that clearly belonged to a member of the up and coming new hipster scene (I know this because of the guy with girl hair driving and the We vs. Shark bumper sticker) was a bumper sticker that read "I think Jesus uses his turn signal"

-Myself and two of my coworkers sticking the aforementionend AB blood plasma in the autoclave down the hall to sterilize it without gloves but with tweezer the size of the tweezers used to pluck eybrows (on a side note.....we have no idea how this plasma ended up in our fume hood. It just magically appeared one morning with no rhyme or reason. Is it yours? Fess up dammit! That shit is nasty and you are nasty for dumping plasma in someone else's hood).

-Two of my coworkers removing the plasma from the autoclave, cutting open the bags, and dumping it into the toilet. This procedure was recommended to us be the director of the environmental safety division. Is this really the way to dispose of mystery plasma?

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Do you yawn everytime a monkey yawns?...

"People yawn because they're tired, bored or nervous, but sometimes they yawn just because they've seen someone else do it. This behavior, contagious yawning, has now been documented for the first time in another species, chimpanzees.

Dr. James Anderson of the University of Stirling in Scotland and colleagues in Japan demonstrated that a third of adult chimps exposed to videos of yawning chimps will yawn themselves.


While no one knows precisely why people yawn contagiously, recent research suggests that the roughly 50 percent of adults who show the trait are more empathetic and score higher on self-recognition tests. Dr. Anderson said there is evidence that chimps demonstrate empathy, too. "And I knew that chimps showed self-recognition in a mirror or a photograph," he added. "So if they showed self-recognition, they were likely to show contagious yawning."

In the study, six female chimps at the Kyoto University Primate Research Institute watched the videotapes while in an experimental cubicle. All the chimps yawned somewhat, which was not unexpected, Dr. Anderson said. "Usually when they go into this experimental setup they are asked to do a cognitive task," he said. "Here they were asked to do nothing, so they may have been bored. But in two of the adult chimps, there was just an overwhelming increase in the frequency of yawning."

Three chimps brought their offspring along; none of the young ones yawned. Toddlers and young children do not find yawning catching either.

Next the researchers will study whether yawning can be contagious between species. After the chimp paper was published last month in Biology Letters, Dr. Anderson said, he received e-mail messages from dog owners claiming that they and their pets traded yawns. Dr. Anderson's next project will involve chimps watching tapes of human, canine and chimp yawns.

After spending hours watching chimps both live and on tape, Dr. Anderson doesn't need much convincing that cross-species contagious yawning occurs. "When I was analyzing the videotapes," he said, "it was enough to set me off."



We're not alone Posted by Hello

Monday, August 23, 2004

Mood swings part II.............

Still in a moderately bad mood but a fakin' bacon cheese and tomato sandwich along with a big ol' salad has curtailed my foul mood a bit. I think the technological goodie (i.e. my new cellphone) has had a soothing effect.

This is good. This is great. I dig the rats. Reminds me of this fantastic graffiti I saw once in NYC while cruising through Williamsburg with the greatest people a girl could know. Pigeon Rat!

Mood swings....

I am in a bad mood today and I mean bad! No one in my lab will answer the phone which pisses me off. They just let it ring until I get it. Yes it's closest to my desk but every freaking time it rings it is the ivy leaguer and I shouldn't be the one stuck dealing with him all of the god damn time! My crappy email provider will not let me connect. I have to pee every two seconds because I have the bladder of a 90 year old woman. I have a headache. My jeans are too short. I overslept. I forgot a fork and then forgot to find a fork and now it is 4pm and I haven't eaten all day. I am in a bad fucking mood. Watch out!

Sunday, August 22, 2004

A New Millenium for APT4.....

Well the boy and I have blasted into the 21st century this weekend with the introduction of a laptop computer. A cute one at that by our favorite captains of technology.....Macintosh. The best part about it....our leap into the modern lifestyle was free. I have become personally more advanced with the addition of a new cellphone that has a digital camera in it. Yes, I know those things are a bit obnoxious but this technological advancement was brought to me free from Cingular. Aren't upgrades the jam. I use my cellphone so little that they decided to give me a super nice free phone just because I give them money for little to no service. Cellphone companies, in general, blow and deals with them rarely go my way. I normally walk into these flourscent lit dens of commerce confident and motivated and walk out dazed and dumbfounded. I'll try to change my calling plan so I get less free minutes and no roaming fees and end up with a outrageous plan that costs twice as much and charges me everytime I check the time on the phone. This time, I win. I will be basking in my vicotry for quite sometime to come. And if I see you out, watch out because I may take your picture with my "compact and sleek" new toy.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

DON"T LOOK AT THIS PICTURE FIRST!!!!!!!!!
I posted in the wrong order. Read paragraph under picture or it makes no damn since and I look like a sixteen year old girl who is totally into puppies!!! Read below first!!!!


Is that puppy cute and sleeping.....or sad and dead? Let's go with cute and sleeping. Posted by Hello

Mars Spectacular...

My mom forwarded me this little diddy today. I normally put her forwards directly into the recycling bin. Their heavy christian undertones and overt religous references not only freak me out but make me feel like a heathen. In order to save myself from a guilt ridden afternoon (she's not even catholic)...i delete. Mom, I love you but it's true. Well. she's gotten wise to me and bates me with subject headings that grab my attention. Such topics would include....."giant squid", "employment opportunity", "kitties", "dad's diabetes", etc. Anyway this one was interesting and cool and you should ready it. There's no god involved. Don't be scared.

"The Red Planet is about to be spectacular! This month and next, Earth is catching up with Mars in an encounter that will culminate in the closest approach between the two planets in recorded history. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Due to the way Jupiter'sgravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the Last 5,000years, but it may be as long as 60,000 years before it happens again.The encounter will culminate on August 27th when Mars comes to within 34,649,589 miles of Earth and will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in the night sky. It will attain a magnitude of -2.9 and will appear 25.11 arc seconds wide. At a modest 75-power magnification Mars will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. Mars will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August it will rise in the east at 10p.m.and reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m.By the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will rise at nightfall and reach its highest point in the sky at 12:30a.m."

Her following email was entitled "puppies" (bated again!) and contained fotos such as this.......

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

I can't take credit for having found these album covers all on my own. I stole the website from someone else's blog, dug through the site, and posted these pictures.

There, my conscience is clean and I have no guilt. Best therapy ever!


Am I confused about what a swinger is? And what does it have to do with bowling? Posted by Hello


Somewhere down the line a selected few of my very closest friends started to call me 8 ball. This is for them. Posted by Hello


Finally...everyone needs a little romance! Posted by Hello

Back To School.....

I live in a college town. This time every year this sleepy little southern town receives a shock to it's system due to the return of the latest batch of young collegiates. I call it a shock because this particular town kicks ass over the summer. There isn't much traffic, everyone says "hello" on the streets, you can go into a bar and have all of your friends there and no greeks getting their shits and giggles from going to the "townie/freak" bar for $1 PBR, and you can find a parking space downtown on a weekend night without having to pay $5. Well, the good times have recently ended and I have to tell you I feel more contempt towards the newbies than ever before. It isn't like they have done anything wrong except for maybe....trying to run me off the road when I am biking with their big ass SUV's that they drive 90 miles an hour while talking on their cellphones, smoking cigarettes, and rocking out to whatever pop princess is enjoying their 15 minutes or whatever jam band is cool that day. It just seems like they all come to college just to act like dumbasses. I don't try to pretend that I didn't act like an idiot when I was a freshman but I'd like to think I contained it to relatively isolated incidences and didn't run the risk of killing anyone while I was doing it. That being said...I have decided to wage war against the SUV on behalf of all the bike riders of the world. If any of you want to join my bike gang just let me know.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Sometimes I think...

....in a past life I was Latino or at least a chef that specializes in Latin American cuisine.

....I am my own worst critic. I shouldn't be so hard on myself.

....I really don't like people that kiss ass. It pisses me off!

....I am not one of those people that can "network."

....I like to drive. I like to drive a lot!

....I don't like the new TV on the Radio. It bores me.

....I use punctuation incorrectly. Maybe I should stop doing that. What did I do with my St. Martin's? Is that online?

....I don't like to wear high heels, ever! I am really glad flats are in now.

....Will I ever have the self control to go vegan? Damn, I love cheese!

....I am tired of the "scene." Maybe I should start my own and then I can be tired of it too.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

I am drunk....maybe just a little tipsy

The boy and I imbibed on a little Wednesday happy hour. I know...last week I was totally into Monday happy hour but that just didn't come to fruition this week due to the "prom" I attended on Saturday that I was still recovering from on Monday. I just realized I may sound like I have a bit of an alcohol problem. That would not be the case. I live in a rather small two bedroom apartment with two cats and dog. I love it because it is cheap and efficient and "cozy" but at times you just have to get the hell out of the apartment, take the dog to the park, and then grab a drink. And that is exactly what happened today. I feel no guilt. My cramped quarters made me do it.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

I am a pretty avid reader. I'll read just about anything...well, I'll start to read just about anything and if it doesn't wrap me in it gets chucked to the book case next to my bed. I would give these less than enjoyable bits of lit away but I have convinced myself that at some point in my life I may return to them and actually enjoy reading them. You know.. the whole a little older a little wiser thing. Right. Recently, I borrowed a copy of Don Quixote. I have also convinced myself that I need to be reading the classics right now. I need to be well read. So, I have borrowed Don Quixote from a coworker and started reading it last week. I am about 100 pages into and it is two inches from the bookcase next to my bed. I just can't get into it. I get...it's funny and witty and quirky. But I say it is funny and quirky in a 16th century kind of way and it just isn't doin' for me. That being said...I started reading Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility. So far so good...

I have returned to my normal work routine of weekly (daily really) meltdowns and the frequently recurring revelations that I don't like my job. When these happen I do two things...1) contemplate returning to school for another degree 2) surf the web and hope the boy sends me one of his entertaining links. Well, today both happened.

How does a Ph.D in science education sound?

This is funny and so is this. Thanks Boy! You saved my sanity again. Now, I am just obsessing over how to get that damn wad of paper into the trash can AND I have decided that I need to carry your sisters digital camera with me at all times so I can submit my first (and definitely not the last) Jesus of the Week.

Thursday, August 05, 2004


Machu freaking Pichu Posted by Hello


Me in a puffy blue vest at Machu Pichu Posted by Hello


The Plaza de Armas in downtown Arequipa, Peru. Posted by Hello


Cows coming out of a taxi. A little tiny Tico taxi with three cows it. Posted by Hello


Chachani. The mountain I attempted to summit (6200m) and made it part of the way (5500m) before I got the worst altitude sickness known to man! Posted by Hello


View out of our hostel in Aguas Calientes Posted by Hello

Photo BLOG......

It's a work in progress but, I have officially started a photoblog. I am pretty excited about it and YES it is going to be full of pictures of my trip to Peru. Deal with it! Speaking of Peru...I may be going back in October. I am honestly afraid that if I spend to much time down there I won't return because it is so goddamn beautiful and awesome and communist which means I could actually get the Inca Gold tooth cap I have been wanting and it would be moderately priced. Nothing says safe like South American dental work!

I rode my bike to work today and I have to say the new do held up quite nicely. I like to think that I look like a combo Kirsten Dunst and Winona Ryder. Yes, I know I am dilusional but a girl can dream, right? BTW, fan sites are creepy!!!!


Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Attempting something that could crash and burn.....

I am attempting to upload photos and create a photo log. This could very easily crash and burn. I mean really how hard could it be right? Cross your fingers.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Brilliance.....

A day that started off very crappy due to my cat puking all over the boys office turned to funny when the boy sent me this little gem of awesomely funniness. Thank you boy.

Weekend Recap.....

Saturday : Ran around all day doing fun stuff. I love days like that. Shmegs ran a tri in the country. The boy and I went for support. We took the dog and let her swim for like three hours straight. Was she tired after that... not a bit! Then went downtown to chop the mullet off. I now have a super cute haircut (if I do say so myself) that should make it through the growing out stage quite nicely. Then we ran to Target (retail crack and one of my favorite places on Earth to wonder around) and bought school supplies for a friend. BTW, why is buying office/school supplies so much freaking fun. Then we attended a going away party for the aforementioned school supply recipient. Words of warning: DO NOT play the drinking game asshole with red wine. Huge mistake! Let me rephrase that....If you are older than 21 DO NOT play the card game asshole at all!

Sunday: Spent the majority of the day recovering from the lapse of good judgment during the going away party (asshole!) and had brake work done on my car. I finally decided the metal-on-metal grinding sound my car was making was bad! $275 later proved my hunch was correct.

Monday: Grabbed drinks with some friends for happy hour yesterday. I am totally into Monday night happy hour. It makes the fact that the work week started back up a bit of an easier shock to one's system. It numbs the blow a bit.

Now that you are all caught up, I am sure you will all rest better tonight.

Monday, August 02, 2004

To Fill Time.....

It is raining very agressively here today due to Hurricane Alex. My mediocre view out my tiny window is obscured my the grey and ugly. I have resorted to taking regular breaks from actual work to browse the internet and IM the boy. The boy is great because he understands the degree of hatred I have for my job and sends me things to entertain me. You may be asking yourself why don't I go out and find a new job. Good question! If any of you are hiring let me know cause I ain't havin' no luck on my own.