I Can Tell You But Then I Have to Kill YOU....

I consider myself to be a private person. I sort of keep to myself except with my close friends and then I am Ms. Heart on the Sleeve. I am OK with this. I like a little anonymity and don't really like people I don't know and don't care to know up in my business. It may be a bit odd to share this on a blog on the world wide web that anyone can read but let's be honest...I know there are only a handful of peeps out there peeking at this so I am not too worried about incriminating myself. So, in order to let my guard down a bit (I've been told I keep people at arms length) I am going to share some stuff about myself that not too many people know....

- I hate Rooms-to-Go commercials. They make me crazy and I yell at the TV when I see them. I find them to be commentary on the state of society today and how fucking lazy and homogenized people are that they can't even pick out their own damn furniture and put a little self expression in their life. NO!!! They have to let some idiot with no taste compile a room for them that can be theirs for five easy payments of 5 billion dollars and can be conveniently delivered to their door. UGH...I hate them.
- I cuss like a sailor and I really hate that I do.
- I like getting up really really early. I am talking like 5 am. Then I make myself work out because I feel, in my own body dismorphic mind, that I am puttin' on some pounds.
- I have been looking for a job (that I like) for going on 3 years now.
- I have a major shoe obsession and this whole "trying not to buy leather" thing is really holding me back.
- My Mom is my hero and she will never know that.
- I am a total and complete sap. Serious sap.
- I haven't had a "best friend/BFF" in a long time (with the exception of the boy but I can't talk to the boy about the boy. You know what I mean). I know a lot of people but no BFF.
- I have a terrible time buying pants that fit me. I am way too tall.
- I like people that are self deprecating because it means they can laugh at themselves.
- I have a crush on Oliver Hudson. I think he and I would make lovely babies.
- I feel like I have forgotten everything I learned in grad school.
- I just received an email for "Vagina Stretching Cream"...uuuggghhhh!