And All I Got was This Lousy T-Shirt

So I am coming up on my one year anniversary at my crappy crappy job. I thought I would gain some meaningful career experience and all I got is a little cellulite and a fucking nervous tick. Yes, the god damn eye twitch is back after a brief hiatus yesterday afternoon. Can I get workmen's comp for this? Not to mention pain and suffering because it is a gigantic PAIN in the ass to constantly have a twitchy eyelid and I am begining to SUFFER from a serious case of insecurity when I talk to people with this relentless eye twitch. I should go home sick for the day because of it but what will probably happen is I will sit here for 2 more hours pretending to work on this busy work the ivy leaguer has given me, play some solitaire, read some blogs, generally fart away the afternoon, and then drink too much at happy hour even though I swore I was not going to drink tonight.