From Salon.com...

Shortly after the president finished speaking, the White House posted on its Web site the presidential messages for Christmas, Chanukah and Kwanzaa. They're about what you'd expect from this White House: The Christmas message accepts the birth of the Messiah as a matter of fact -- "More than 2,000 years ago, a virgin gave birth to a Son, and the God of heaven came to Earth" -- while the president merely "sends greetings to those" celebrating the other holidays.

But this is where things get a little odd. In the president's Christmas message, he asks God to "watch over all of our men and women in uniform," including those "serving in distant lands, helping to advance the cause of freedom and peace." In his Chanukah message, the president expresses gratitude "for the courage and commitment of America's men and women in uniform" and prays "for their safety as they serve around the world to spread peace and liberty." But in his Kwanzaa message, Bush says nothing at all about men and women in uniform, about spreading freedom or liberty or peace, or about the war in Iraq. Instead, he offers a sort of generalized acknowledgment of the "many contributions African Americans have made to our country's character."

Among those contributions, of course, is service in the U.S. armed forces. According to a recent report, African-Americans comprise 25 percent of the enlisted ranks in the U.S. Army even though they make up just 13 percent of the U.S. population. Why doesn't Bush's Kwanzaa message mention the African-Americans serving in the military? Maybe the White House is being sensitive to the losses the African-American community has suffered in Iraq. Or maybe it's just that Bush figures that the war isn't the kind of thing he'd want to mention in a message aimed at African-Americans. As Pew pollster Michael Dimock said recently, "It would be hard to find a group where the war in Iraq is less popular."

Eat a Big Ol' Bag O' You Know What's Not So Intelligent Design...

This just in. One of the most ridiculous theories ever to be impressed on the American public has been ruled unconstitutional by a judge appointed by Mr. George There is no such thing as separation of church and state W. Bush himself. This happens rarely so lets bask in it. Bask in it now because it's only a matter of time before the current administration spreads their evangelical bullshit via subliminal messages during Project Runway. Here's small portions of Judge Jones report:

"We have concluded that it is not [science], and moreover that ID cannot uncouple itself from its creationist, and thus religious, antecedents," Jones writes in his 139-page opinion posted on the court's Web site.

"To be sure, Darwin's theory of evolution is imperfect. However, the fact that a scientific theory cannot yet render an explanation on every point should not be used as a pretext to thrust an untestable alternative hypothesis grounded in religion into the science classroom or to misrepresent well-established scientific propositions," Jones writes.


HIZAH!

Office Holiday Potluck Lunch...

All I said is I don't eat meat. It's not like I told you that I don't eat anything other than babies.

Brownie Yum Yum's...

I have very skillfully and adeptly avoided and traversed the holiday goings-on in my office. Anti-social...maybe. Sanity saving...absolutely. It has caught up with me this week and I feel the pressure and the guilt from the 4th floor occupants to attend the holiday potluck this Friday. I will be bringing brownies because I cannot cook but I can damn sure bake. I say this now and I mean it. If I see one holiday sweater, tie, and or sweatshirt I am out. If you would like to place bets as to how long I last I can hook you up with my bookie.

Get out while you can....

People are putting on Christmas themed ties. I am getting the hell out of here.

Perplexed?.....

Why is it that iced coffee is so good but coffee that has become cold is disgusting?

With the Crust Cut Off...

Dear Loyal readers. The group over at the Sand Witch Bored is soliciting sandwich recipes. The idea is to solicit these sandwich recipes from anyone and EVERYONE. Case in point...one member of the bored board emailed the fine fellows at Dischord records and received an immediate and decisive response. You can view it here. So please feel free to pass on your sandwiches to me and I will see that they make it on the bored. Here are the rules:

"please solicit sandwich recipes (including bread type) from
others. the sandwiches should in most cases be named after the
respondent OR some celeb you feel deserves a sandwich
(i.e. "the Alec Guinness"). burgers are acceptable but should
be labeled "burger" after the name (i.e. "the Alec Guinness
burger"). however, everyone on the sandwitchbored board should
feel free to name a sandwhich as you see fit (i.e. "the dainty
dancer")."

The founders of this fine project stress that this idea was totally and completely stolen from the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode in which Larry tries to switch the sandwich named after him with another sandwich named after Ted Danza and hilarity ensued. The founders of the bored also assure me that they will tire of the idea quickly and most likely abandon it but we can always see how far we get. XOXO.

The American Way....

I just almost threw and entire orange away because it was too difficult to peel. I decided to persevere and then proceeded to choke while eating a slice of it causing me to gag repeatedly at my desk.

Is That Really Necessary?...

As if Arrested Development needed one more reason to be called the most hysterically ridiculously funny thing on television! If you are a total moron and need someone else to chastise you for not watching it then watch this.

Feeling kinda....

I ran into a REALLY old friend of mine on my walk home from work today. He's probably one of my oldest friends from Athens that I still truly enjoy seeing. This is the time of year that all the old friends come out of the wood work. They are all home from the holidays and haunting their old stomping grounds. It's inevitable that you'll see one in the bar on Friday night or you'll be seated next to them at the Grit. And for the most part it's good. It's good to reminisce. It's good to catch up. It's good to exchange cell phone numbers and email addresses even though you know as well as they do that you all won't talk and will end up doing the same thing all over again the following year. That's how it works. That's how it will always work and it is good. The particular friend I ran into tonight is one of these friends. I love seeing him. I love introducing him to my friends and watching them look puzzled by the six foot dreadlock guy before them who dazzles them with his humor and stymies them with stories about me that not many people in my life now know or believe. This is a friend from the "pale years." He's a friend that I spent many a delinquent night bickering with like the fun brother I never had. He's a friend that, most likely, still owes me money from one of the ten times I bailed him out of jail. He's a good friend. At some point down the line he became best friends with the first love. It was inevitable. You loved your old friend and it was great that he was best friends with the first love. The three of you continue the adventure. You move across country and live in a shitty apartment eating ramen noodles because you can barely pay rent. The whole time the old friend and the true love are planning a life that you are not sure you want to be a part of. They are planning a life that is a bit too off the grid for you. They are planning a life that doesn't include you finishing college or working for a non profit. They planned a life that you came pretty close to emerging yourself in before you realized that it might not be the best idea. Running into your old friend you realize that he's still doing it. A new town but the same life and he's happy. And you are honestly happy for him. You can't wait to see that friend again when he is back in town for Christmas. Then you hit the walk home and all those old times come rushing back. It's not that it makes you feel bad but more like....insecure and totally confident all at the same time. You realize that he is a part of the first loves life and not yours. You know you haven't spoken with the first love in years and you know you don't want to...ever again but you can't help but now associate that old friend that you love to death with that old love. It's sort of depressing really. In a way that old friend is subjected to the animosity you had toward the old love. Maybe not directly. Your not harboring bad feelings toward the old love. I mean you are but it doesn't keep you up at night. Mostly, you're relieved the old love isn't a part of your life anymore. You weren't rude to the old friend but in the back of your brain you can't help but wonder what the old love told him about you or what the old friend will tell the old love. How does the old friend view you now? Will he go back and tell the old love that you looked old/ looked beautiful/ looked dumpy? You think out loud that you were glad that you had on your good jeans and looked sort of stylish. You're glad that your life is in order and focused. You're glad that your in love....real love...not teenage first love love. You're glad that when you get home you know you will see the boy and you will see your dog and you will be graciously welcomed home to your life. Most importantly, you're glad you will see the old friend in a week or two. You and he and the boy will grab a drink a talk about how crazy you used to be. You will exchange numbers and look forward to your holiday ritual next year and it will be good.

Ms. Piggy....

Everything on or around my desk has either a coffee stain or food residue stain on it. What does that say about me?