Jereth Cutestory....

Having been iced in all day yesterday, I gained a new vice/addiction. That addiction is Arrested Development. This has to be one of the funniest television shows I have ever watched. I nearly herneated a disc when Dr. Tobias Funke snuck into the blind lawyers house to steel documents on the impending hearing of the Bluthe patriarch after Gob Bluthe delegated the task to his brother-in-law. I find Tobias to be rediculously funny... by this I mean laugh out loud funny (which I rarely do over a TV show). His never nude policy manifesting itself in denim cut offs is classic humor. I heard the other day that the show was going to be cancelled after this season which sucks. After watching an entire season yesterday, I also had to amend my "women I wold go gay for" list:

1) Angelina Joelie
2) that chick from the Black Eyed Peas
3) Portia de Rossi

Back in the Saddle Again...

Back from a week long stint in Aiken that consisted of a shit ton of work, lots of boredom, food poisoning and a broken down field truck. Thank goodness there is an ice storm a'comin because it guarantees a couple of days at home. I've said it once but I will say it again, I love working in the field but I hate my job.

I was just told that I was overqualified for a job AGAIN! Don't people realize that if you are willing to chase after a job that you know you are overqualified for that you are willing to work for peanuts just as long as you have a job. I need one of those "Will Work for Food" signs.

12 Hour Party...

Last night my friends Jason and TJ hosted an oyster roast at their house. This is the first of their parties I have ever attended. These are two of the greatest guys I know in the world so it is about time I went and hung out at their house during their fiestas. Jason works at Bar Code. I don't really hang out at this bar. It's just not really my scene but the boy and I do stop in occassionally to hang with our friend. I figured it would be the bar folks. Their party was fun and one of the strangest cross sections of people I have ever seen including a huge 6'5" guy walking around with a four pound Yorkie with a ponytail on her head in his hands, some kid in a leather jacket with a very pointy piercing in his chin who kept telling me he was "the roadie", lots of 18 year Britney Spears look alikes, and these kids (specifically the two on the left) who were so adorable I could have eaten them up with a spoon. It was fun and weird and I am glad I went. The only regret...the boy and I stole someone's Zippo (for what reason I don't know) and now we both feel like shitheads for it.

10 Signs That The Boy and I Were the Oldest Folks There....

1. The boy had actually seen At The Drive In live
2. I did not have on Ugg boots (not to mention it was VERY difficult not to make fun of each and every girl there for wearing Ugg boots).
3. Someone had to explain to me what a Yeager Bomb was
4. I did not drink the Yeager Bomb
5. My jeans had back pockets and weren't so low that I needed a Brazillian wax
6. Both the boy and I have finished college
7. We left at 9:30 PM
8. No one found the boy and I's biting wit and sarcastic humor funny but they all got a huge kick out of "Kenny Rogers Jackass"
9. I kept talking about how I had to get up in the morning to go to the gym/work
10. I had an hour long conversation with TJ about religion while some kid was passed out and people were writing "Balls" on his forhead (which was hysterical and cruel and I wish I could have played a role in that. I was thinking it would have been very funny to write "shitbag" across his upper lip. TJ agreed).

Come on Now...Let's Be High Maintenance...

Ladies, if ever you are staying in a Sleep Inn I suggest you pluck your eyebrows while looking in the mirror over the desk. It is the closest I have ever come to the review mirror in my car.

To All, people that attend the Aiken Brewing Company tend to stare a great deal and make you feel like you have a big ass booger hanging out of your nose.

In the past five minutes I have seen two commercials from Law Firms of Ken Nugent advertising law suits for the 5000 people involved in the chlorine chemical spill in Granitville, SC and my hotel is full of claims adjusters. It's a dirty world out there and someone is always making a buck.

Ladies and Gentlemen...

I give you deformed owls.

Shaka Bra...

I am going to see Aloha tonight and I am stoked. I like trippy zylaphone music and you should to!

Cause He's Wierd...

I have decided to not like this guy just because he looks like a total and complete freak. You may be saying..."Betagirl, his albums kick ass" or "Betagirl, that is awfully judgemental" and you may be right on both counts but today I just don't give a shit and will not like him.

Watch Out Kids! She Might Be Hot...

I have had an interesting week. Bare with me. Being on call has made me lose all track of what day it is and where I am at. I know it is only Tuesday but this is the first day off I have had since last Saturday. So here's a recap...

-I have changed a flat tire on a one ton Ford Pickup truck while laying/sitting in radioactive mud at a nuclear facility very near a radioactive pond. I am beginning to think I am hot. By that I mean charged by radioavtive juices. The boy watches me while I sleep to make sure I am not glowing green.

-I saw a blad eagle which is cool but it was hunting around a radioactive pond which is sad.

-I learned that a while back a family of owls with four feet was found at the aforementioned nuclear facility.

-I came closer to wetting my pants than I ever have before in my life while driving back from Aiken. There isn't much between Interstate 20 and Athens. I drove about 40 miles doing the pee pee dance in the seat. When I finally found a gas station there was a very old man going into the restroom. Now I love old people...I really do. I understand that when you get older things take a little bit longer and it is more of a challenge to manuever around but for the love of god.....I gotta pee.

-I ate at Chile's which is gross but they have a "Build Your Own Burger" which has two vegeterian options and spicy chipotle sauce which is good.

-I have decided on the next tattoo I am going to get and I have finally decided that I will purchase a longboard. Driving by the new skatepark every time I leave town has me charged and I am ready to cruise around on a longboard. It's time.

-I hate those Jamaster.com comercials where you can download ringtones. I have seen one with a cartoon chick and another with the "baby's got back" guy. These commercials suck and I am beginning to dispise those more than Rooms to Go commercials.

The Dirty South...

I have been driving back and forth to Aiken, SC. everyday this week and I am beat. I have one more drive today and then I think I don't have to go up again until tomorrow. My job kicks ass. I need some job hunting tips. Mine is gong miserably. Maybe a new career suggestion or two would help as well.

There is no "I" in team
What's at the heart of security? "UR"
Starve a spy feed a shredder
Don't be lax. Report suspicious acts.
We are watching.

I think the department of energy is brain washing me or maybe I just need some sleep.

This weekend I am cat sitting for Ms. C. Let me rephrase that...APT13 will most likely be cat sitting for Ms. C. because I will probably be stuck in fucking Aiken, SC. Again, if any of you can hook me up with a job please let me know ASAP. I am dying over here.

Making the World a Pretty Place...

I am helping LordOfLocust compile some metal cred fashion guidlines. Check it out. If you need more help than that you can see the more extensive post by LordOfLocust himself here.

I am thinking about changing my blog template. Suggestions please!

Now I Know...I Would Never Make It On Tour...

Every hotel in Aiken, SC. and Augusta, GA. is booked up right now due to a chemical spill. This turns into a logistical nightmare for the project I work on. Yesterday, myself and the team I work with woke up at 4 AM to get to Aiken by 7 AM. We normally would have headed out of town the night before but we couldn't get a hotel room within 60 miles of Aiken. So, we went on our daily work routine thinking we could get a hotel that afternoon. This was not the case. After a long morning of racing around in the woods the team was beat and homeless. We hung out in a crappy Mexican restaurant for two hours killing time until we were all about asleep in the booth. With nowhere to go and complete exhaustion setting in, we headed to the local community center parking lot where we crashed out in the back of our cargo van and in the cab of our field truck. I choose the van thinking I could stretch out more. To make a long story short, I didn't sleep worth a shit. This has finally sealed the deal. I will never be in a touring band. Never. No matter how hard you try to convince me. Besides the fact that I cannot carry a tune nor can I play a musical instrument, I cannot live on crappy mexican food and 20 minute naps in a van full of equipment and smelling of beer (the guys I work with may have spilled a beer in the front cab of the van). It used to sound like a dream now it sounds like hell.

Insecurity...

I just begrudgingly forwarded the URL for this here little blog to two friends. See my friends are all very witty and way smarter than me. They are all artists or academics or culturally well rounded. I think a good bit about a lot of things but I rarely have mind blowing epiffanies and most of the time when I do I keep them to myself. I have opinions on a lot of things but at times they are not very well thought out and more often than not reactionary. My friends are wonderfully talented and intelligent and at times I feel like I am out of my league. Therefore, when it recently came out that I have a blog I very reluctantly held out on turning over the keys to the depths of my nonsense. In a series of emails it has finally come out and now I am very insecurely thinking of how poor my grammar and spelling are. I am thinking about how this blog is more a place for me to babble and ramble endlessly about nothing. I am thinking about the grief the boys are going to give me when they start digging through the inner workings of this dribble I call a blog. There is something strange about being a private person when you are publishing on the WWW. It's cool with me that nine times out of ten I don't know who is reading this thing. It's even cooler that the people I do know that are reading this don't care that I rant and rave and post stupid shit like bible verses acted out by legos. It's not that I don't respect these people all equally but I am just not prepared for criticism or praise from people that are way smarter than me.

Welcome to my world Dr. and Lord of Locust! And yes, I know, I can't spell and I should have used a semicolon.

Nuclear Facilities, Chemical Spills, and Backgammon

Dear Blogosphere,

Please forgive my sporadic posting as of late. Life has been a bit hectic. I have gone on call with the US Forest Service at the Savannah River Site in Aiken, SC. For those of you unfamiliar with SRS, it is a nuclear facility nestled right on the Savannah River. It is home to several reactors and is policed by both the Department of Energy and a privitized military group called Whakenhut. My job entails being on call seven days a week and having to leave work or my home whenever the US Forest Service preforms a prescribed burn at SRS. Myself and my team race up to AIken and work all night so that we can setup air quality monitors downwind of the prescribed burn. The intent is to assess what the surrounding community is breathing in during prescribed forest fires. That being said, on Thursday we headed up to SC to prep for the burn season. In route to the site our truck broke down on the side of interstate 20. We were all pulled off and trying to fix our truck (we call her Greenie...she is a 1 ton truck that used to be a military vehicle and she kicks ass) when a state trooper pulls up and tells us that he didn't want to alarm us but we may all want to wait in our cars while Greenie cools down because we were five minutes from this. a very large nchlorine spill has also shut down the forest service because SRS is about 15 minutes from this nightmare.

On a lighter note, I am trying to teach myself how to play backgammon. I hope one day to set up in one of those backgammon tournaments in the parks in brooklyn and play with a bunch of old men. Myabe after I kick their asses, they'll teach me how to play dominos.

New Year's Resolution....Nah! I'd Hate to disappoint Myself....

I keep debating whether or not I want to make any New Year's Resolutions but I just don't think I am ready to commit to it. I already am full on exercising trying to get ready for my triathlon so that one is out. I could choose to not curse so much but I really don't see that happening any time soon. Actually, now that I am back at work my curse volume has tripled. I could resolve to find a new job but we all know I have been working at that for like 6 months now to no avail. I may think about eating better but I am already a vegetarian and veganism just isn't in the cards. So, I choose to not resolve anything. I will approach 2005 with blissful ignorance and undying cynicism. Hizzah!

Cold...

I woke up on New Year's Day morning without having to deal with a hangover (I was the designated driver) but instead with a cold. Bugger! It was bound to happen with the crazy spring weather we are having and the fact that for the bulk of Christmas I was working around more people than I have in over a year and dealing with snotty sick people that sneeze in their hands and then hand you their money. Yummy! Thanks for the cold, retail patrons. So I am vegging out in front of the tube while the boy cooks me a grilled cheese and soup. I need to eat now before I take cold medicine and sleep for the next ten to fourteen hours.