Rock Rock Steady Freddy...

Potential band name for anyone that needs one....

Steve Guttenberg Bible

Let the Holidays Begin....

I am sure I speak for a few people out there when I state firmly and emphatically that I am not looking forward to Thanksgiving. Here is a short list of reasons why.
Feel free to share your own.

1. My Dad will nag me from the time I wake up till the time I go to bed to eat. "Eat more! Eat more! Eat more! Your too skinny! Eat." It has become one of my greatest pet peeves and no amount of explanation as to why I am thin (six days a week of training, vegetarian diet, GENETICS!!, high metabolism, yada yada yada) will appease him. It seriously makes me nuts.

2. My brother will be there. This will be the first holiday we have spent in the same room in years. See, my brother never went to Denver for the holidays because he would make every Georgia football game a three day weekend thus using the bulk of his vacation time up. Then he would tell my mom that he had to work but not that he spent a week at the World's Largest Cocktail party.

3. While no one comes right out and says it anymore, it is a huge issue with my parents that I am a vegetarian. My dad thinks it is rude that I come home and don't eat turkey and can't eat the stuffing because it has turkey juice in it and won't use the same spoon for my vegetarian gravy that was in the turkey gravy and so on and so forth. Plus, it pisses him off to no end that my mom makes separate stuffing and green bean casserole for me that is not tainted. I do not ask her to do this. She does it voluntarily and yet I hear about it all day.

4. Did I mention my brother was going to be there? This doesn't sound too bad to most but I am the out numbered liberal in an extremely conservative family and my brother is the first to make fun of me for it which reverts us to "Brother and Betagirl age 10 and 6." Nasty names are shouted. My mom asks us to stop. My brother or I can't let it go. We continue to argue and call each other things like "buttface" since we can't curse in front of my parents. I get so pissed off I take off on a bike ride.

Presidential Speechalogist

Headaches and Hand Grenades

I woke up this morning with the same headache I have had for two days. I wasn't thrilled about the whole thing. The headache was compounded by the fact that I woke up with show tunes stuck in my head....fucking show tunes??

Bang Bang Bang went the trolley.....ring ring ring goes the bell

When your a jet your a jet always from your first cigarette to your last dyin days

I have to stop trying to finish My Fair Lady at night because this is the end result. I fall asleep to the movie and I wake up......

Don't cry for me Argentina

I have found one exception to my no mixed fruit never rule and it is this. I am not ready to conceed that all mixed fruit flavors are good because they aren't but this one does not make me gag. You may be asking your self why I am drinking this. The L.O.L threatened to kill the boy and I if we get him sick after our weekend with the boy's neice and nephew who are, at present, little snotty bundles of germs. L.O.L, I cannot promise anything but I will drink the shit out of ALL of your mixed berry emergen-C's if it would make you feel better. Preesh! 

Dear Lady Down the Hall,

Thanks for the lovely conversation we had in the stairwell about how cold our offices are. I thought we were making real progress. At least I THOUGHT that until today when you visibly sneered at me. Is it because I have on a turtleneck sweater today? I know it's in the upper 60's today but I thought we had already covered the whole you-could-hang-meet-my-office-it's-so-cold thing. Do you not like my checkerboard Vans with dress pants? Tough shit! I mean, you only work until noon every day. How hard is it to be mildly pleasant toward me for four hours a day? We don't even have to speak. Just, please, no more glares.

Dear L.O.L or whatever the hell incarnation you are today,

Conrats on passing your comprehensive exams. I am not sure I showed enough enthusiasm last night about the whole thing. You did interrupt me while I was watching America's Next Top Model. What did you expect?

Dear Stuttgart Neural Network Simulator,

FUCK YOU! Yeah, you heard me. You are making my life miserable!

Those Just Say No to Drugs Commercials Were Right, Dammit....

I think I may be getting more stupid. I had a conversation last night with the boy...let me rephrase that...I talked while the boy listened about how I have been using words completely wrong lately and even making some up. Vocabulary has never been my forte but I have become increasingly more self conscious about it. It normally occurs when I am spazing out excited and speaking haphazardly. More often than not, it happens when I am around friends all of which are intellegent and cerebral and passed their English 101 class. Plus, I finished college, twice. Doesn't that mean that I should be able to spell and use the word caveat correctly in a sentence. One would think.

I have also become increasingly forgetful and scattered brained. I can't remember shit. My short term memory is shot. I live my professional life through a series of post-it notes all over my monitors. I have to keep an extensive TO DO lists and half of the time I forget to write down what I was supposed to write down so I remember to do it.

If I had known it was going to be like this I would have never had the Pale Years. The Pale Years is what I like to call my first two years of college that involved mass consumption of alcohol, chemical experimentation, and whatever else the average-college-student-who-had-an-oppressively-strict-father-that-would-not-let-them-go-to-parties-or-date-until-they-were-almost-out-of-high-school may have partook. I am not talking rehab or anything just too many late nights and too many stoner friends. And here I am. A functioning member of society who can't remember shit. So that's what the whole frying pan egg thing was about.

Ponderings....

When I eat at my desk is the crunching of chips/carrots/popcorn as loud on the outside as it is in my head?

I wonder every day if I REALLY like what I am doing

The new Doritos are supposed to be "Better Tasting" but they aren't.

I have had to look up the word "propagation" three times today.

Could the following statement be considered steroetyping: The man in the office next to mine is over weight and smokes. I am afraid that one day soon he will have a heart attack.

I may leave work early today so I can get home and see the new shoes I ordered that came in the mail today.

Halloween at my house