Dear Lady Down the Hall,

Thanks for the lovely conversation we had in the stairwell about how cold our offices are. I thought we were making real progress. At least I THOUGHT that until today when you visibly sneered at me. Is it because I have on a turtleneck sweater today? I know it's in the upper 60's today but I thought we had already covered the whole you-could-hang-meet-my-office-it's-so-cold thing. Do you not like my checkerboard Vans with dress pants? Tough shit! I mean, you only work until noon every day. How hard is it to be mildly pleasant toward me for four hours a day? We don't even have to speak. Just, please, no more glares.

Dear L.O.L or whatever the hell incarnation you are today,

Conrats on passing your comprehensive exams. I am not sure I showed enough enthusiasm last night about the whole thing. You did interrupt me while I was watching America's Next Top Model. What did you expect?

Dear Stuttgart Neural Network Simulator,

FUCK YOU! Yeah, you heard me. You are making my life miserable!